Dating someone the same age as you
I’m going to try to be objective here, but no promises.Also I think I’m scared to publish this while we’re still dating for fear of jinxing the dang thing. He hasn’t been doing his own thing forever, so to speak, so there’s metaphorical room for me in his life.What began as a romantic adventure into unconventional love turned into a disaster I should have seen coming from waaaay over the hill. How old you actually are doesn't necessarily have a lot to do with your lifestyle. Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too. Data scientist Randy Olson was one of those curious individuals who set out to uncover and break down all of the marriage factors.Previously he found money, engagement ring and wedding price, children, dating length prior to engagement, but part two of his data set reveals age is one of the biggest predictors of a lasting marriage. The closer a couple is in birth age, the greater the change their marriage will last. I thought they’d match my maturity level, would “have their shit together” and would, in general, be better partners for me, the self-professed “old soul”.Usually the guys were 4 or 5 years older, sometimes they were 8 or 10 years older (and I went on one date with a guy who was like, 18 years older), but they were ALWAYS older. I recently started dating a younger man – he’s four years younger than me – and honestly? Here’s why: Editor’s note: I’ve opened this post a jillion times to try to write it without sounding like “in defense of this one particular younger man I’m dating”.
Nearly a decade ago, the nation was shocked to find half of all total U. marriages ended in divorce, and finding the key to the perfect marriage came to the forefront of society.
He has this wild amount of energy, which I capitalize on, and which makes me less of an old-ass hermit cat lady. Women have been dating younger men since the dawn of time, I’m sure. I noticed that I stopped referring to him by his nickname and pointing out our age difference, and with those walls down, I was able to admit that this had become an honest-to-goodness relationship.
That was my experience from dating a much older man.
It seems like maybe we can share life more easily, rather than me feeling like I’m tagging along in someone else’s plans.
And y’all know I’m stubborn and refuse to just Though he be but young, he is smart.